How to Improve or Leave an Abusive Relationship with The Early Warning Signs

Did you know women in abusive relationships tell themselves these: "Why Does He Do That?" every day? Now they can see inside the minds of angry and controlling men-and change their own lives.
In this "Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" book by Lundy Bancroft, a counselor shows how to improve, survive, or leave an abusive relationship, with:
-The early warning signs
-Nine abusive personality types
-How to tell if an abuser can change, is changing, or ever will
-The role of drugs and alcohol
-What can be fixed, and what can't
-How to leave a relationship safely

When most women ask "why does he do that," they are searching for an answer that will help them to make an abusive relationship better. This book makes it very clear that the answer to the question has nothing to do with the abusive man's partner, and everything to do with a sick and destructive need for complete control over another human being.

This book stands out as an exceptionally compassionate, understanding, insightful look into controlling relationships and the men who operate them. Lundy Bancroft's writing is clear and well-organized, and always full of compassion for the women who, like myself, are or have been unfortunate enough to be involved with these men.

Lundy Bancroft has captured within this book the heart of one of the biggest problems being involved with abusive and controlling men - the constant and neverending struggle to understand why he can be so cruel when he swears he loves so much. It is at times a very painful read, especially when Mr. Bancroft tackles all the myths women have relied upon to rationalize and somehow justify or downplay the abuse. He has de-mystified these types of men and has explained the source of their actions and mindset with a clarity that can be as frightening as it is freeing.

This book will encourage the reader to think for themselves, with behavior examples that give the reader a sound unit of measure. Plus, it offers one a clear map of the progression of destructive behavior.

It can be very confusing when rational thought and good sense no longer seem to apply. A controlling personality does not have to hit you to harm your health or environment.

Are you too scared to ask the offender to curb their behavior? Is the conversation being turned around back on to you? Does the offender have a denial or excuse for every transgression they make, no matter how extreme? Do you dread going home because of the lack of harmony or peace?

This book will completely validate the victim's feelings and let them know what their cycle of thoughts is, and the book will help you feel validated. One of the harder aspects of being in a relationship of someone that is an verbal abuser, is that the other person tries to redefine your reality. Lundy does a terrific job of explaining what the victim's thought process might be.

He takes a very analytical view of the abuser, abuse cycle, and the mentality of the persons involved with the abuser. He gives the sides of all parties involved. He also gives the victim a good idea of how to respond, and what to expect. Honestly knowing what is going on, and being aware of the situation can be enough to help a victim to get through the situation.

You will not find one excuse you've ever used to justify an abusive partner's treatment that isn't addressed in this book and shown for what it truly is. If you are, or even think you might be in an abusive relationship, or trying to recover from one, this book is an absolute must read.